Snails or Gels? Why Eating Like a Local Will Get You Dropped

If you enjoy riding until you see purple spots, with your heart rate at max and your power reading zero, then don’t bother reading this. This article isn’t for you. You are probably quite happy bonking in a ditch somewhere.

For the rest of us who actually want to make it over the climb without wanting to sell our bikes, we need to talk about food.

The French Bakery Trap

Living and riding here in France, it is easy to get sucked into the romance of it all. We have all seen the photos: the stylish cyclist leaning their bike against a stone wall, sipping an espresso and eating a fresh croissant. It looks fantastic. It looks like "the life."

But here is the reality check that Instagram doesn’t show you. That croissant is essentially a brick of butter and flour. It sits in your stomach like a heavy stone. If you eat a Tartiflette or a massive plate of cheese and then try to ride up a Category 1 climb at threshold, your body is going to scream at you.

The Boulangerie Mirage

Even if you ignore my advice and decide to rely on buying food on the road, you are forgetting where you are.

We have talked before about the Realities of Riding in France. This is not the UK where there is a Tesco Express on every corner, and it certainly isn't a 24-hour service station.

Don't expect the village shop to be open just because you have bonked. It doesn't care that your blood sugar is crashing. If it is between 12:00 and 14:00 (or on a Monday, or a Sunday afternoon, or just because the owner felt like closing), that door is locked.

And don't assume there is "another shop round the corner." This is rural France. You could be riding for 30 minutes before you even see a sign for the next village, let alone an actual village. And when you finally get there? It might just be a church and a water fountain.

If you don't carry your fuel with you, you are playing a very risky game.

The Two-Tank Problem (The Science Bit)

Here is the only bit of science you actually need to know.

On paper, fat looks like the winner. 1 gram of fat contains 9 calories, whereas 1 gram of carbs only contains 4 calories. So, logically, you might think: "I’ll just burn fat. It’s more efficient." That is the trap...

Your muscles don't run on "calories"; they run on a chemical called ATP. That is the actual currency your body spends to make a muscle contract, and this is where the difference lies.

• The Fat Tank (The Diesel Log): Turning fat into ATP is a slow process that requires a huge amount of oxygen. It is like trying to light a damp log. It contains loads of energy, but you can’t get the heat out quickly.

  
  

  Of course, the "Holy Grail" of endurance training is to improve this. The whole reason we do long, steady rides is to teach your body to burn fat at higher and higher power outputs. A World Tour pro will still be burning fat at 300 watts plus. For the rest of us mere mortals, that ceiling is much lower, likely a good 100 watts lower.

  
  

• The Carb Tank (The Rocket Fuel): Turning carbs into ATP is lightning fast and "cheaper" on oxygen. It is like throwing petrol on a fire. When you hit a climb and the intensity spikes beyond what your "fat burning" engine can handle, your body stops looking at the logs and screams for the petrol (carbs).

  
  

The Reality Unless you are a genetic freak, you can't access your fat stores fast enough to keep up with the group on a steep climb. You rely on your glycogen (Carb) stores.

But here is the kicker: You only have enough Carbs stored for about 90 minutes of hard riding. Once that tank is empty, the tap turns off, the power drops, and you are left pedalling squares.

But How Much?

This is where everyone gets it wrong. I see riders trying to survive on one cereal bar an hour because they "don't want to overeat." Then they wonder why they blow up at 80km.

The truth is, your gut is trainable, just like your legs. Most amateur riders under-fuel by a massive margin. You might think 40g of carbs an hour is plenty. Your power meter (and your fading eyesight) will disagree.

Stop Guessing. Go to the Lab.

I see it happen constantly. Riders with great fitness who end up parked by the side of the road simply because they emptied the tank.

To stop the guesswork, I’ve built the Winding Roads Fuel Lab.

It handles the numbers for you and answers the only question that really matters when you are 100km deep and the road kicks up to 10%: Will I Walk?

LAUNCH THE FUEL LAB

It doesn’t care about your feelings. It uses your power numbers (if you have them) or your ride intensity to tell you exactly how many grams of carbs you need per hour to survive the furnace.

It also has a little feature I added for fun. It will tell you how many French Snails you would need to eat to get the same energy. (Spoiler: It is usually hundreds. Don’t try it).

The Bottom Line

There is a time for frogs legs, cassoulet, and a glass of red. That time is 7:00 PM, after you have showered and the bike is clean.

When you are on the road, save the gastronomy for the holidays and stick to the rocket fuel. Your legs will thank you.